OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
