Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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