Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
