She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Randomize
