If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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