I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
