last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
