i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
