just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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