like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
