Swine flu is the new snow day.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
