he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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