Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize