Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
