I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
