Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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