i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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