You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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