What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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