i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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