actually, I'm a sock model
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
A bitchslap is in order.
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