Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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