Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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