omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize