is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
