I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
