Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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