Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
