help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize