What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
