I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
