I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
