YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
