Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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