I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
