NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
