so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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