i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Randomize
