eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
