i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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