yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
