so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
