I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
