So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
