Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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