Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
