hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
