You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
