So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
dude. I can hear the air.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
