there was a trapeze. enough said
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
