I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
