All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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