Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
