i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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