I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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