So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
