no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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