i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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