dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
