you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
