How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
