Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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