what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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