He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
