We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
