There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize