Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
