Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
