I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize
